ANNOUNCMENT!

We would like to announce the joining of a new Bottle to the mentally drunk squad So please ladies and gentlemen... gays and lesbians clap your feet forrr *drums*



GIN

Sel-sufficient women's Anatomy

APPETIZER

Before I begin please any one about to read this Post I need you to-
Stand up - find a mirror - look at yourself
If you're a woman give yourself the biggest hug ever for you're blessed
if you're a man then get the hell away from that mirror and TAKE A BOW FOR THE NAME OF ALL WOMEN KIND ( and better luck next time)

Now to the Main course

Just give us another 15 years and all females walking this planet including animals will become completely Self sufficient and I mean literally we wont even need to look outside for food we’ll find it within our own bodies. At this point you’ll be wondering how the hell we’ll find food within our own bodies? (Don’t worry we wont eat ourselves)
Picture this

(Liquids)
God gave us 2 beautiful lumps that produce pretty much the best milk you can get
So we’ll attach a plastic straw and boom we got the drinks aspect covered.

Ps. if you’re a DD size forget the straws you’re set for life


If you're too bloated from milk then the best alternative is a cup of salty tears kills’ bloating & cures indigestions
If you cry a lot & you’re in the money making business then you can start
With selling your tears, half closed swollen eyes are a small price to pay



(Solids)
I don’t know about you but I eat my hair on a daily basis and it comes in so many flavors depending on your shampoo I personally like the coconut & walnut scent but I guess we can always use garlic & beans shampoo if you’re feeling like something salty.

Also we can feed on our nails it’s a common thing these days but we’ll personalize it more by creating flavored nail polish to help you digest your nails faster.

And for a light snack nothing better than the never ending flavored lip balms.
Kills your night cravings instantly – directions – Apply, suck your lips dry,
Re-apply & repeat.


After following this diet We’ll all be skinny and pretty and MANkind will eradicate from jealousy




The bammblliinnggggss of a drunken RUM with 2 drops of whiskey & a shot of vodka

Sexually Frustrated.

After severe chitchatting with fellow friends and siblings...

we have come to this conclusion!

What is the reason behind Social Bitchiness of

Both female and male citizens in this country?

Now let us begin with the definition of "BITCHINESS" -

Which is basically the widespread of the following-

*Misplacing emotional needs.
*Confusing relationships.
*Social incompetence.
*Unease when with people.
*Complicating human communication.
*Neediness
*MENTALLY RETARDED ASSHOLES.
*Freaky eyeballers.
*PDE (public display of Emotion) For the wrong reasons.

Nope I'm not confusing it with PDA! They are two different things.
*Back stabbing hypocrites
*Grudge holding pigs
*Lack of understanding
*Over exaggerating simple issues
*Drama kings and queens
*Bribery ..Anger stricken people I could go on but since u have an idea now I’ll leave
The rest to your imagination...

The answer is (Getting LAID!)

Its a natural human neeed Lack of it is causing people to

Lose it ! and become completely unbearable and disgustingly uncontrollable.

(Some people can control it) e7em! while its affecting other people's mental health!

And if you can't get laid DON'T YOU DARE deny the fact that you need to!

People keep quite for social ,taboo-ish reasons... I'm not so sure anymore.

No one is blaming you.

That also doesn't mean you can go rape

Every walking creature , leave the dogs alone will ya!

Or start obsessing about the mater..... you need to balance!

Do it the right way, just like brandy.

Find yourself a Husband/wife...

Stop Creating all these boundaries and

Complications about marriage....

now to its Benefits:

*Fun

*Sex (YES YOU NEED IT!)

*Risky

*Adventurous

*Reproduction

*financial stability (Maybe)

*Sharing

*Intimacy

*Action

*Drama

*COMADAY

*HORROR

We all search for there in movies wouldn't be

Great to create them in your own life... But you also

Have to know how to face them.

If you still think marriage is boring , it means you're boring *yaawwwwwwwwwwn*

You create your own life and relationships you can make them interesting

and you can most definitely overcome it's dilemmas and fights IF YOU WANT TO!

I’m not saying sex is the answer to all our social shortcomings but it’s a step forward it’ll make you happy And if you’re happy you’ll quit bothering others with your nonsense and you’ll focus on the good stuff in life because you will never get enough, and just like that the vicious cycle will become less & less vicious. Till is completely gone...

I dare you to challenge my argument!

WTF! SALHYA.

Weekend Salhya seen and the Tuesday special

Salhya mall has obviously implemented a new
dress code along with an attitude alteration
That must match your outfit.


The Scene

*Clown looking chicks “clowns can be pretty” parading
In front grizzly sex deprived freaks
(Now I don’t need to explain what must be going on in their heads)

RUM: What I do not understand is why parents
pimp their daughters to parade
In front of grizzly sex deprived freaks.

Whisky: Are you a sex deprived freak?

Vodka: No you idiot, she is a clown. She cannot
Be a sex deprived freak.

Brandy: Where is salhya mall?!

To Be continued...